New year.. blah blah blah...
Resolutions, I dont think I have ever made a single one, rather, many throughout the year. Monday I will start over, Next Sunday I will clean out my closet, Oh, there is a holiday, I will wait after that. A New Year resolution... Bah humbug. haha
So I guess maybe I will try now.
A new beginning, a new start.
New years eve was spent dancing my arse off with my 3 year old, totally different than years past, so spin the positive and start a over.

Goals...
Virtual Vision Board. haha
DeClutter...room by room, step by step. Had a great start in 2008...
Ahead of the game here.

Schedules.
I will organize myself with a cleaning schedule

Tyler
I will teach him one new thing every day and continue to tell him how incredibly proud of him I am.

Myself
I will not beat myself up, I will keep positive
One day at a time
Learn a new thing everyday

Working out
Back on the machine baby

I am thankful for many things.
My health, my family, my business, learning new things and all my new equipments...watching my business grow. I am thankful.
The Disney VACATION club. My dream.
Vision boards... I just looked at it and WOW, almost everything, except the tight fit body. haha
Thats 2009.
The trip with my family and the ability to do that.
My new charity I am working on :)
Its a beautiful year ahead.

Stuck...super stuck in this stupid rut. I sabatoge myself so much all the time.
For the past year, working out was such a huge deal for me...a month ago, after dieting and working really hard... I messed it all up.
The whole month of December... horrible. So, new years..
Starting over. I guess its ok to keep starting over, right?
Grrrr...

So far so good!

So I have been working on the positive thinking though. Its not alway easy...its never easy, but working on it is a start. I have started to organize myself.. getting the thought out of my head " I am not an organized person" theory. haha I have regrouped and began a fresh journey. A work in progress so to speak.
And here we are...

Myself

So last night, I had a heart to heart with myself.
I am going to change.
For the better.
I am going to make myself healthy and everyday search for ways to do that.
I am going to do one positive thing for someone else without telling anyone.
I am going to think wonderful thoughts of people around me.
I am going to stop looking for the negative in others and myself.
I am going to decorate my house the way I imagine in my head...
I am going to be successful and strive to learn something new everyday.
I am going to think the best instead of worry for the worst.
I am going to look at my vision chart and build on that every day.
I am going to be grateful and give thanks for what I have.
Its not going to be easy, but I am going to be easy on myself.
I am growing in mind, body and spirit.
I value my life and the life of everyone around me.
I am truly blessed.

Some people confuse me. They come off as very nice...but lately little comments and mostly mean and I am not sure why. Well I can speculate, and I need to address it before I blow up. I don't know how you can take away from a person and feel so threatened when all I have done is encourage and be a friend. Maybe they don't realize it, but I think deep down they do. Passive aggressive.

Scared to death...

OK... yesterday was really tough.... well since Thurs.
After teaching at the gym, I had an asthma attack. Thank God L was there.
I had to leave during cool down.. made it to my nebulizer just in time.
SO then... going to the gym, I vowed to give myself a break and take some time from intense cardio.
I decided to bypass the gym yesterday morning... did some laps instead at my parents.
I had a nice workout, until something bit my neck. It swelled right away, and I had that lump feeling in my throat. I took Benendryl... and ice... but it was getting worse, and I was not sure if it was getting worse, or I was panicking. So my Mom and I headed towards the hospital, to be closer just in case (I forgot my epipen)... As we got closer, it was spreading and getting worse. We went in. I was at the registrar area and it was getting worse. My jaw and lips felt numb and I was getting scared at this point. They took me back and while I was waiting for the Dr, my shoulders felt numb (although it could have been m nerves)... They gave me an IV... as she was putting my IV in, I started having trouble breathing, felt like I could pass out and well... the nurse then shot me in the back with epinephrin, IV was put in ... I got benedryl, prednisone, something else and I think pepcid. I felt drunk. I felt better very soon after the epi...I had a bag of fluids and had to wait.. I left with a bunch of prescriptions. It scares me that things can happen so fast and if I was in the wrong place, wrong time... I could be gone. I was reading about it last night, and I was hitting the shock faze... I am so grateful... I feel so much better, mentally and physically.
I love life. I love my family and friends.
Thank you for today and yesterday...

Two

Two sides I am sure.. I have only heard one.
Just heartsick and prayerful.
I wish the best and all the happiness in the world.